Take The Black Off A Crow
By Zee
Summary: Johnny's life is sometimes complicated. R.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: AU after Superman's death. Second in the Take A Breath That's True series; won't make sense without reading The Compass That You Gave Me first. Thanks to Petra for nudging me and Betty for the beta. Posted September 20, 2006.
***
When the door to his bedroom creaks open, Johnny is still groggy from
waking up in the middle of the night. He sits up, squinting at the
sudden influx of harsh light from the hallway. "Muh?" Is all he can
muster.
"Johnny?" Dick is a silhouette in the doorway, his voice so soft that Johnny can barely hear it.
"Mm,
yeah? What's up?" Johnny covers a yawn and moves to get up, doing his
best to appear like he's ready for whatever middle-of-the-night mission
they need to go off on, but Dick's hand is on his chest, pushing him
back down.
And now that Dick's closer, Johnny can see that all
he's wearing is a pair of white briefs. Which is weird enough, but then
in one smooth motion Dick is straddling him on the bed. "Uh--" Johnny
says, but Dick puts a hand over his mouth. Which is good, because
Johnny has *no* idea what he was going to say.
Dick smiles above
him, slow and wide and sexy. "Shh." He moves against Johnny, a slow
roll of his hips, and it's--Johnny's half-hard, and it's embarrassing
and he needs to get Dick *off* him before he gets all the way hard and
loses any plausible deniability. But Dick's hands are still warm on his
chest, holding him down and brushing over his nipples, and when Dick
says "Shh," again he *grinds* down.
"Aahh," Johnny says, or
something like that because he thinks his vocal chords have stopped
working. He lets his head fall back when Dick rubs his thumbs over his
nipples, and then, oh god, leans down to *lick* him. It's too much, and
Johnny wants--he wants to kiss Dick, and it's like Dick read his mind
because there he is, biting down on Johnny's lip and moaning into his
mouth.
"Dick, I--I want, I love--" Dick squeezes Johnny *hard*
through the material of his tights, and Johnny stops babbling and makes
a strangled, gurgly sound instead.
"I know," Dick breathes
against his mouth. "I love you, Johnny. And every night I've wanted to
do this to you, I just couldn't hold back anymore--"
"You don't--" Another squeeze and a *stroke* and Johnny cries out. "--Don't hold back, oh god, *Dick*--"
Dick's
lips are warm and wet on his jaw, his neck, and Johnny can't help but
arch up. Dick's hand feels strong and sure on his cock, rubbing his
balls and squeezing him and sliding in underneath Johnny's tights. Skin
against skin feels even better, and Johnny gropes out blindly, touching
Dick's skin anywhere and everywhere he can reach.
Dick bites him and then sighs against his neck. "Oh, Johnny. I want you, I love you, I want to fuck you--"
"Fuck,
Dick, yes, *please*--" Dick bites him again and strokes him harder,
faster, rubbing his thumb over Johnny's foreskin and the head of his
cock, and Johnny's eyes roll back in his head--
His alarm is set
to an alt-rock radio station, and Johnny wakes up to what sounds like
screaming, even though in reality it's just a guitar. The images of the
dream fade and he scrambles, hitting the alarm clock too hard with his
TTK before he can turn it off manually: it bounces off the wall and
slides to the ground, broken.
"Shit." Another dead clock radio and his sheets are soaked. Not just soaked--*sticky.* "Fuck."
This
is the third time in the past two weeks that he's had to sneak out of
his bedroom and wash his sheets before school. It's gross and stupid
and it's always the same damn dream--a little bit different each time,
but still. Dick in his bedroom, Dick bending him over the motorcycle
(he hadn't stopped blushing about that one for days), Dick in the sky.
It
was bad enough when it was just a crush. Johnny doesn't need the
nightly reminder of how he feels, or the reminder of how far away the
reality is from the dreams.
it's just his luck that Dick is
already up, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper in the kitchen.
Johnny tries to sneak past him to the stairs that lead down the laundry
room, but Dick glances up. He takes one look at the sheets bunched in
Johnny's arm and smirks.
"Oh man. It's *that* time of adolescence for you, isn't it?" He winks.
It's
a good thing that Johnny can blame his blushing on the existence of the
wet dreams, rather than what those dreams were *about*. "Shut up! It's
not--I just need to--"
Dick laughs and is beside Johnny before
Johnny can escape, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, I've been a
teenager before." He holds his arms out. "Here, you have to go to
school. I can take care of the--" He snickers. "--the laundry."
Johnny's
cheeks prickle with embarrassment. "I've got it," he snaps.
"Just--leave me alone." He jerks away from Dick's hand and hurries down
the stairs, ignoring what sounds like Dick apologizing behind him.
He
eats breakfast quickly after sticking the sheets in the washing
machine, not speaking to Dick. It has less to do with being mad at Dick
(although the "It's only normal" talks don't *help* on that front), and
more to do with his inability to look Dick in the eye without flushing
or thinking about last night's dream. It had felt so real at the time,
right down to the calluses on Dick's fingertips, the smell of his
breath.
And if Johnny thinks about it much longer, he's going to
get hard again. He declines Dick's offer of a ride to school--it's a
pain in the ass to fly and then land far enough away from the school to
change and walk the rest of the way, but this morning he doesn't mind
it.
It's better that evening, after he's suffered through the
boredom of high school and can look forward to patrol. Dick catches him
taking his laundry out of the dryer and snickers some more; Johnny
sticks his tongue out, and Dick ruffles his hair and says "You're
growing up so *fast!*" in an affected voice, they laugh and things are
back to normal.
As normal as anything can be when you have a
hopeless crush on your... friend? Mentor?
Older-brother-except-not-really? Johnny isn't sure. All he knows is
that none of the other guys in his gym class or his english class have
this problem. Some of the girls might, but that doesn't exactly make
him feel *better.*
He was hoping for an action-filled night to
distract him from... from things, but instead Nightwing sends him to
watch a mostly abandoned alley, because of a tip-off he got about a
drug deal going down. There's absolutely nothing going on, and after
about a half hour Johnny is dying of boredom.
Johnny flies
higher. He closes his eyes, concentrating: If he stays utterly still,
if he drops his TTK aura as much as he can, he can ride the air
currents up here, letting the columns of hot air over Blüdhaven carry
him. It wouldn't work if he didn't have at least some TTK keeping him
afloat--the drafts aren't strong enough to keep a human in the air--but
still, it's fun.
"Superboy, anything yet?" Dick's voice is loud and sudden in his comm, and it makes Johnny jump in mid-air.
"Uh...."
He swoops down closer to the city, to the block he's supposed to be
keeping an eye on. "Nope, nothing. This area's totally dead--not even a
purse-snatcher in sight."
"Hmm. Okay, at this point it's likely that our tip-off was a bust, but stick around for another hour just to be certain."
"Oh,
come on! This is totally boring--I'm not even *doing* anything. Can't I
come help you out?" Johnny can hear vague fighting noises in the
background on Dick's end--he's probably having way more fun than Johnny
is.
"I don't need back-up." Dick's voice sounds amused even
through the static-y crackle of the comm. "What I need is for you to
make sure no big meth exchanges go down in Magdalena Blvd. tonight."
"But--"
"Think of it as an opportunity to practice your meditation. Nightwing out."
Johnny
scowls and perches on a fire escape. He's way too antsy to try to
meditate--and every time he closes his eyes, images from his dream last
night appear. But at least he can practice his telekinesis.
He
touches a finger lightly to the top of the stair rail and stares at the
bars, concentrating. He bends three carefully back and forth, like
they're waving in the wind. He narrows his eyes and one of the bars
disconnects from the rest of the stairs, wobbling towards him--
"Wow."
Superman's voice is suddenly right there, jolting Johnny out of his
task. The metal bars pop out of place and clatter to the ground.
"Oh, I'm sorry, let me get those," Superman says, swooping down to grab the bars.
"I can fix-" Johnny starts to say, but Superman is already using his heat vision to weld the bars back in place. Good as new.
"That
was very impressive, what you were doing there." Superman's smile is
big and a little shy, except that it's *Superman* and Superman doesn't
get shy. "I wasn't aware that your telekinesis had progressed so far."
Johnny
feels his stupid face blush, and shrugs, standing up and floating above
the street with Superman. "Yeah, well. It's, you know, nothing compared
to, like, heat vision and arctic breath."
Superman frowns a
little. "We could argue about that, but even so--" the smile is back,
and Superman's hand claps him on the back. "It looks like you're doing
very well."
Johnny stops himself from shrugging again. Or scratching the back of his neck, or shuffling his feet, or. "Um. Thanks."
Superman squeezes his shoulder before letting his hand drop. His hand is bigger, warmer than Dick's.
"Are
you... busy at the moment? I was hoping--well--heh." Superman looks--he
*would* look abashed if he weren't Superman. "I have something to show
you. Johnny."
"Um. I have to patrol this block for another forty-five minutes."
"Don't
worry about it, Superboy." Johnny manages not to jump this time at
Dick's voice in his ear. Geez, thank god he and Superman weren't
talking about anything embarrassing. (Not that you could talk about
embarrassing things with Superman.) "Superman has a long history of
saving teenaged vigilantes from boring patrols."
Superman grins. "All right, then. Fly with me?"
Flying
with Superman definitely beats hanging out in an empty alleyway. He
thinks. Probably. "Yeah! Yeah, sure, um. Let's go."
They shoot
up into the sky, higher and higher until they're above the clouds,
airplanes and jets. Johnny thinks that they're headed South, but he's
never been good with directions, and this high up there are no
landmarks to judge by.
He has to strain himself to keep up with
Superman, and he knows that Big Blue isn't even flying as fast as he
could. "So where are we going, Superman?"
Superman looks at him, his face unreadable. "Kal-el."
"Uh. What?"
Superman ducks his head, smiling a little. "You can call me Kal. It doesn't have to be 'Superman' all the time."
"Oh." Johnny blinks. "Weird name. Is that your secret identity?"
"Superman--Kal?--smiles,
and turns until he's flying on his back, his hands clasped behind his
head. "Not exactly. It's my Kryptonian name."
"Oh." Johnny can't picture what Superman's alien parents might look like. Can't picture Superman having parents, period.
Superman
stops flying/lounging and shoots down though the clouds. Johnny follows
him, and only panics for a second when he can't find him--then
Superman's hand taps his shoulder.
"This is what I wanted to
show you. Part of it, anyway." The last of the clouds part and
disappear, and Johnny can see that they're somewhere cold,
frozen--Antarctica, maybe? And there's some kind of building or castle
or just an exceptionally huge ice sculpture rising up from the ground.
It's creepy and looks precarious, like it could collapse or just melt
at any second, but Superman is flying in through what looks like the
doors, and Johnny follows.
Once inside, Johnny gawks. "Uh. This is. Wow. Is this where you *live?*"
Kal-not-Superman laughs. "No, this is more like... a headquarters, of sorts. More like a refuge."
Johnny
can't stop staring at everything. It's so... it's *alien* and kind of
freaky but not bad freaky. He thinks. Are the walls *breathing?*
"Come
this way. There's something I need you to see." Johnny hurriedly
follows Superman, carefully ignoring the breathing walls.
The
hallway they're walking down opens up into a... a really freaking *big*
room. Johnny's first thought is that it kind of reminds him of the
Batcave, except that this is Superman, so really not so much. There's a
chair in the center, and the walls look... mirrored or transparent or
covered in holograms or something. If Johnny stares at the walls or
ceiling for too long, he gets dizzy.
Superm--Kal is looking at him, and after a while Johnny meets his eyes. "This is... uh. It's very nice."
Kal
gives him a crooked, amused smile. "It suits me. This room--there's a
lot of information stored in these walls. A lot of... " He takes a
breath, and looks at the chair; Johnny follows his gaze, but it's just
a chair. "Here. Sit."
Johnny finds himself being guided to the
chair, and--it looks a lot less like 'just' a chair now and more like
something that gives Johnny the serious heeby-jeebies, but he sits down
anyway. The metal is cold under his ass, and he squirms a little until
Kal puts a hand on his shoulder.
Kal says something in another
language that makes the hair on the back of Johnny's neck stand up. And
then--the walls light up and there are pictures and sounds and it's
like the whole world falls away. The only thing keeping Kon sure that
they're *not* actually suddenly floating in space is the warmth of
Kal's hand on his shoulder.
"Holy *shit,*" Johnny says, or starts to say, but then Kal's hand squeezes and they zoom in on a planet and Johnny shuts up.
Places
and names and battles and *stories* fly past Kon's eyes. He's there,
he's *experiencing* it, he's on Krypton and this--Johnny can't think.
It's too much, it feels like it's being imported right into his brain,
like he's back in that murky time in the tube feeling algebra and
Shakespeare and the english language poured into his mind.
And then there's a flash of white, and it's over. Johnny blinks a lot.
Beside
him, he hears Kal cough. "Erm. Sorry about that; I'd forgotten that
this technology can be... somewhat overwhelming for humans." He sounds
embarrassed.
Johnny rubs at his eyes to clear the spots. "Yeah,
but I'm not human, right? I'm fine." Better than fine. He feels buzzed,
jittery and awake and excited.
Kal smiles at him. "How much of that did you understand?"
"Uh."
Johnny thinks, trying to sort through the chunks of information in his
head. "Most of it, I think. All that stuff about Black Zero, and
Nightwing and Flamebird, and Jor-el and Kon-el and Lara-el.... that's a
lot of El's."
Kal snorts. "Yes. It is--was--my family crest,
back on Krypton. I don't remember any of them, but..." He looks up at
the ceiling, which is back to being swirly and opaque, as if he can see
through it to the stars.
Which he probably can, Johnny realizes.
The whole x-ray vision thing, which the scientists at Cadmus didn't see
fit to share with Johnny. He looks down at his boots.
Kal sighs,
and Johnny looks back up. "Anyway. Johnny--this is your heritage, too.
Your name. If--if you want it." Kal's cheeks flush. "The name Kon-el
was part of my family for centuries; it would have been my cousin's
name, back on Krypton."
Johnny blinks again, feeling like a moron. "Oh," he says, and his voice sounds funny. "You mean--I--"
Kal's
hand is back on his shoulder. "It might be a little late for this,
but... if you want this, it's yours. The name, and what it means. I
just--I want you to know that you're welcome here." Kal's cheeks are
really red now, and Johnny doesn't understand everything he's saying,
but he understands enough to make it a little harder to breathe.
"Oh,"
he says again, feeling like an even bigger tool. He can't, *can't* look
Kal in the eye, and stares at his boots again. "Thanks. I mean--really.
Thank you. A lot. Um."
"You don't have to thank me, Kon-el."
Kal's hand slips off his shoulder, and Johnny's breath hitches. Kal
glances up through-the-ceiling again, and smiles, rueful. "You should
probably get back, though. It will be dawn soon, in Blüdhaven."
And Dick is waiting for him. "Right! Right. Okay. Um." Johnny hesitates. "I'll see you later, Kal."
Kal's
grin this time is bright and sunny and all Superman; it's impossible
not to grin back. "I hope so. Do you know the way back?"
"Yeah,
I'll find it okay. Um. Bye." Flying away from the Fortress pulls at him
a little, makes his chest constrict in a way that Johnny isn't familiar
with. And then he's in the sky, in the clouds and he can just fly until
what he just saw starts to make sense.
It's almost six am by the time he gets back to Blüdhaven, and the sky is getting lighter.
He
flies through the window. Dick is still up, wearing only the bottom
half of his costume, his tights riding low on his hips. There are a few
new bandages on his sweaty back. He turns around, looking up from
whatever he was going through on the table, and grins when Johnny lands
on the floor.
"Hey there. Did you have fun with Superman?"
Johnny
frowns. "I thought you said you didn't need help tonight," he says,
gesturing to the fresh scrapes on Dick's back and chest. And blushes a
little, because... because.
"What? Oh, these are just cuts and
bruises. No big deal." Some of the 'cuts and bruises' certainly look
like a big deal, but before Johnny can open his mouth Dick is talking
again. "So how was Big Blue? You guys were gone for a while."
"Uh,
yeah. Um." Dick's grin is relaxed and his body is still covered with a
slight sheen of sweat. Johnny sits down on the couch.
"He gave
me another name. Well--first we went to his hideout in Antarctica, and
then he told me his Kryptonian name, Kal-el, and then he showed me all
this Kryptonian history and stuff, and--" Johnny remembers to take his
mask off, blinking at the change in the light. "Um. He says my name is
Kon. Kon-el."
Dick isn't grinning anymore, but he doesn't look
angry or upset. He's just watching Johnny, waiting for... something.
"Kon-el. Huh."
"Yeah." The silence is weird, and Johnny's not
sure why. "I guess it was the name of his cousin on Krypton, some
relative of his dad's, maybe. He says it's a family name."
The corner of Dick's mouth quirks. "Yeah? And what do you think?"
Johnny shrugs. "I dunno. I'm not really Kryptonian."
"Superman
obviously thinks you're Kryptonian enough to share his legacy," Dick
says, raising an eyebrow. "And seeing as he's the only authority on the
matter..."
Johnny takes his gloves off, picking at a loose thread. "Yeah, I guess."
He
knows Dick is watching him without having to look up, and it's--Dick is
always intense, but when he's really *focusing* on Johnny, it's
something Johnny feels all over, making his skin prickle. "Do you want
me to start calling you Kon?"
When Johnny *does* look up, Dick
is still not-quite-smiling at him, and Johnny can't quite read the look
on his face. It's tense, but open, gentle--Johnny needs to answer the
damn question. "I--no. I mean--I don't know? I don't think it would...
it would feel weird. I mean, I." He laughs a little and drags a hand
over his face. "I just officially became 'Jonathan Grayson' a few days
ago, and I know that's not *really* me, but--"
"It is if you want it to be." Dick's voice is sharp, and something in his eyes flashes.
Johnny
smiles, weakly. "Dick, c'mon. The birth certificate is fake. So is the
social security card. It's not real, not like Superboy real."
"It
*can* be." Dick crosses the room in a few strides, crouching down in
front of Johnny. "You don't have to let the mask be the be-all and
end-all of who you *are.* I want--you have to know that there are other
options for you."
Dick is right *there,* his eyes blue and
earnest and his lips slightly parted. Johnny swallows and looks down.
"I--I know. I just meant. Um. The whole name thing is just... it's a
little confusing. That's all."
"I can see that." Dick's voice is
back to being gentle; his hand rests on Johnny's knee for a second
before moving. "You can go by whatever name you choose. I'd be
perfectly happy to call you Kon-el."
Johnny wants Dick's hand on his knee again. "No, I--I like being Jonathan Grayson. I mean... it's... we're family. Right?"
Dick ducks his head, his hair falling over his face. "I'll know that no matter what name you use."
There's
that thing, pulling on Johnny's chest again. "Yeah, well.... if I try
to go by Kon I'll probably just confuse myself and accidentally call
myself 'Konnie'."
Dick laughs, Johnny grins, and the weird
tension leaves the room. "Okay. Let me know if you ever change your
mind." He stands up, stretching, and Johnny has to avert his eyes to
keep from reaching out and touching all that exposed skin. "I'm beat,
and you look exhausted. Plus, you have high school tomorrow." He pulls
Johnny to his feet. "Go on. A short nap is better than no sleep at all."
Johnny snorts and stands up as well. "Uh, huh. You could just not make me go."
Dick's
hand squeezes his shoulder, then pushes him in the direction of his
room. "Sorry. It's only the second week; too early to decide it's not
the right thing for you."
Johnny grumbles and Dick punches him
lightly in the shoulder. He brushes his teeth and gets into his
pajamas; that night, he dreams that Kal is taking him to Krypton for 'a
vacation,' while Dick grabs his ass and whispers something in
Kryptonian in his ear. Kal keeps glowing red and blue, and he looks
angry, and Johnny is trying to focus on why he wants to go to Krypton,
but then Dick gets naked and kisses the back of Johnny's neck, and
Johnny wakes up with sticky sheets.